Pete and Pat Crosson: A Love That Knew No Bounds

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Pete and Pat Crosson in Formal AttireTelevision commercials portray Valentine’s Day as a time of grand gestures with red roses, jewelry and expensive dinners as the manner to express one’s love. Pete and Pat Crosson of McVeytown always knew what really mattered in love and lived everyday like it was Valentine’s Day. The couple demonstrated their love for one another through mutual respect, friendship and support for 57 years. They joined together as two individuals in their teenage years to form one unshakable and remarkable union.

“We did everything together because we loved each other’s company,” Pat says. “We never needed expensive vacations, just time together as a family made us complete.”

This Valentine’s Day will be the first Pat will not celebrate with Pete, who died last April after a brief and heroic battle with leukemia. During his final days, Pete received services from Homeland Hospice, a nonprofit hospice program that serves communities throughout Central Pennsylvania.

For the Crosson family, the work of Homeland is personal. Pete and Pat’s daughter Buffie Finney is the Assistant Director of Clinical Marketing for Homeland Hospice and their granddaughter, Bethany Traxler, is the Assistant Director of Activities for Homeland Center.

The story of Pete and Pat began at a summer “hop” held in their community. They married and had two children, Rick and Buffie. The couple moved into their home more than 50 years ago and filled the house with cherished memories. Their home was the place of family dinners on Sunday afternoons where hunting and fishing stories were shared and grandchildren and great grandchildren were doted on.

From their house, Pete and Pat often watched a white deer, a rare and beautiful creature, through their window. During Pete’s end of life journey he found comfort and peace watching the deer gracefully approach his home. After his passing, Pete’s family purchased a headstone with an etching of the home he and Pat shared. The white deer stands like a proud sentinel in the engraving.

Pete and Pat’s love extends beyond the couple’s time together and is a living legacy for their beloved granddaughter Bethany.

“My grandparents cherished the good times, but also took on the challenges of life together,” Bethany says. “The longer they were married, the more in sync they became.”

For Bethany, the lessons of a marriage filled with love and a life well lived are among the gifts she has learned from her grandparents and strives to emulate in her own life.

“My grandfather was a hardworking man,” Bethany adds. “He liked to say no one should ever call off work just because it’s a sunny day.”

These words of wisdom have guided Bethany in her career. Bethany began her time with Homeland as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) before moving on to serve as a marketing liaison. Around the time of her grandfather’s death, Bethany was thinking about the next step in her career and decided to return to college to advance her degree. While her plans were underway, she hadn’t shared this information with her grandparents.

Nurse Bethany and Pat Crosson at Homeland Hospice 5kDuring Pete’s final days, he frequently asked for Nurse Bethany to come to his aid. Bethany remained vigilant by his side for emotional support, allowing this hospice team to handle his direct care. While she wondered why he referred to her as a nurse, this warm and loving term of endearment let her know her grandfather saw Bethany as someone who would always be there for him.

Weeks following his death, Bethany shared her college plans with her grandmother. Bethany is a studying marketing at Central Penn College. Her ultimate goal is a degree in Health Care Administration. Like her grandfather, Bethany’s hard work is tested every day as she balances her education with her new position as assistant director of activities for Homeland Center.

“One of Pete’s final wishes was for Bethany to further her education,” Pat says. “I think he was trying to communicate this message to her by calling her Nurse Bethany.”

As February 14 comes closer and many of us frantically send cards and place orders for flowers, Bethany and Pat will honor Pete by simply loving their family without limits or boundaries. As Bethany takes on her new role with Homeland, she will undoubtedly find herself staring at Pete’s wedding ring, which she has worn since the night he died. Pat is transforming Pete’s shirts into pillows for his grandchildren and great grandchildren.

“It’s the little things that add up in a lifetime,” Pat says. “These are the memories I will always cherish.”

Homeland’s Bereavement Team Offers Comprehensive and Compassionate Support

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Noelle Valentine, MSW, LSW - Bereavement Team

Noelle Valentine, MSW, LSW

Learning how to navigate the unchartered waters of grief after the death of a loved one requires a strong support system and the development of coping mechanisms to find hope for the future. Homeland Hospice provides a holistic approach to grief support using a team of compassionate counselors. Homeland Hospice is a nonprofit hospice program that serves communities throughout Central Pennsylvania.

Recently, Homeland Hospice reorganized its bereavement counseling team after longtime counselor Brian Medkeff-Rose retired after 28 years of service. Noelle Valentine, MSW, LSW, now serves as the lead bereavement counselor and Alexis Conkle, MSW, provides administrative support while Noelle mentors her to learn the hands-on demands of the job. Alexis looks forward to taking on counseling duties as her time with Homeland progresses.

For Noelle and Alexis, the team partnership and their shared dedication to Homeland provides a strong foundation to help patients and families during their grief journey.

“Bereavement support is rewarding work,” Noelle says. “I’m humbled by the strength and compassion I learn from every family.”

While the steps of grief may form a pattern to healing, everyone’s process and timing is tied to his/her personal story. Through the shared understanding of loss, many people find comfort in Homeland’s bereavement support groups, while the individual process of handling heartache can often best be addressed through individual counseling. The duality of support needed on a pathway through grief is why Homeland offers one-on-one consultations and support groups.

While Alexis is new to her role, she has been part of the Homeland team since 2018 when she started as an intern. After earning her degree, Alexis was a social worker with Homeland before transitioning to the hospice bereavement team.

Alexis Konkle, MSW - Bereavement Team

Alexis Conkle, MSW

“I look forward to working directly with families and helping them through the challenges of grief,” Alexis says. “I admire the strong bonds the Homeland team forms with families, as it makes this work a calling and not a job.”

For many people, the grieving process has become more difficult because of social distancing measures in place through the COVID-19 pandemic. Noelle connects with clients via phone calls instead of in-person visits. During these calls, she not only focuses on the grief caused by loss, but the added loneliness of isolation.

During the winter months, Homeland’s popular men’s breakfast series and women’s luncheon series have been placed on hold. During the summer months, the groups met outside where they could socially distance and still spend time with one another.

For many people, comfort is found through the consistency of these support groups. It’s not uncommon for strong friendships to form during this time together. Support group sessions focus on the various stages and aspects of grief. Most importantly, the meetings provide a safe space for people to be around others who understand what they are experiencing.

Noelle and Alexis find their new partnership to be a rewarding learning experience. As Alexis learns new components of her position, her questions and observations spark a new perspective in Noelle. Together, the team is committed to providing the most comprehensive support possible.

“We understand healing takes time,” Noelle and Alexis remark. “We will walk with you through your bereavement journey.”

Homeland Hospice’s bereavement support program is available to the bereaved of Homeland’s patients as well as anyone in the community who is experiencing grief.

To learn more, please contact Noelle Valentine at Homeland Hospice at (717) 221-7890.

When It Is One of Your Own

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~ Written by Helen Haddick, Homeland Hospice Nurse

Painted Angel with a galaxy and sparklesWhen my work phone rings early on a day off, I tend to not wake up. When it rings twice, I start to get conscious. By the time it’s the third try and it’s my personal phone, I am wide awake. Before my eyes even opened, I knew it was a phone call I would probably not want to take.

It was a dear coworker. Her voice… her muffled cries…. trying and stopping to tell me news that would make my world slow to a screeching halt. A fellow hospice nurse, a friend, a longtime acquaintance had passed. It was like I heard the news but, it really took a moment to register.

It couldn’t be. She was younger than me. She was so spunky and full of life. She was, hands down, the hardest working nurse I had ever met. She has this energy that never seemed to end – except during a few staff meetings when her head would kind of fall. She was loud and infectious…. unorthodox and magical. Her heart… bigger than her personality and unbounded. She can’t be dead. Her kids…. her daughter that she worked so hard for…That just doesn’t die.

I see death everyday. More than most, my coworkers and myself have a deep understanding of how fleeting life is. We see that moment when it is no more… disappearing as if it was never there. We prepare families and patients for it. We share their journeys and feel their emotions. But, this is different. She was one of our own.

I kept thinking about other coworkers. We are a smaller company. We all interact with each other all the time. We bounce ideas, we chat about our adventures … conversations that begin with “I can only ask you guys because I don’t want anyone to think I am dumb …”

My friend … who spent so much time holding the hands of those that were passing. She passed alone … my heart hurts for that reason more than I could ever explain. My only prayer is that it happened so she never knew it was happening.

This pain is almost searing.

Just … how?

I tried to calm my mind a few times today … closing my eyes and trying to just breathe … only to open them with hot heavy tears flowing like rivers down my cheeks. It’s a bad dream, right?

As the day has gone by and I have tried to make sense of it all, I realized that there is no making sense of it. There is a hole in our little company that will never be filled. Her absence will forever remind us of how much her presence meant.

My prayer this evening is simple … that all those she helped … all the hands she held … all the eyes she closed …all the souls she comforted … that they all met her … that they all now comforted her … that they showed her all the love she showed them … that they welcomed her into a place of love, light and peace.

See you on the other side, my dear friend. You will forever be missed.

Planning Ahead to Age in Place: Understanding Home Care and Home Health

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caregiver serving a resident their mealOur home tells the story of our lives. It is the place where we find comfort among our memories and personal belongings. We also feel independent and free by living each day according to our own schedule, but with age comes fundamental changes in how to remain at home and thrive. Understanding the challenges and options available to families is essential to safely aging in place.

Homeland specializes in home care and home health as part of its continuum of care through Homeland at Home, the community outreach program of Homeland Center. While both services provide support to patients and families, there are differences between the options.

“Home care includes non-medical assistance,” says Barbara Goll, B.S., Community Education Liaison/Nutritionist at Homeland at Home. “Home health is a physician ordered plan of care provided by licensed health professionals.”

For many patients and families, home care helps improve a patient’s quality of life while living safely at home. Home care also assists the primary caregiver who may be unable to perform the daily tasks required for the patient. This support gives caregivers a brief respite from the emotional pressures of caring for a loved one.

Home care can be tailored to suit specific needs. Primary services include:

  • Meal preparation
  • Companionship
  • Personal hygiene
  • Bathing
  • Dressing
  • Grooming
  • Toileting
  • Feeding
  • Transferring
  • Light housekeeping

Families exploring home care are encouraged to research the costs and coverage of these services as long-term insurance plans and Medicare coverage may vary.

Home health is usually prescribed by a physician as part of a healthcare plan following hospitalization, injury or onset of a new diagnosis. Home health uses a team approach of medical professionals including nurses; physical, occupational and speech therapists; social workers and certified nursing assistants. The primary goal is to treat an illness or injury to help the patient heal and return to an independent lifestyle, or regain as much self-sufficiency as possible.

For many patients and their families, home health is preferred over recuperation in a hospital or skilled nursing facility because of the comfort of being in one’s home. The level of care provided by Homeland’s Home Health team is just as effective as services provided by an in-patient facility.

Home health services may include:

  • Health monitoring
  • Wound care
  • IV therapy and injections
  • Medical tests
  • Medication administration and reminders
  • Rehabilitation therapy
  • Pain management
  • Cardiac care
  • Patient and caregiver education

Health insurance plans and Medicare may cover the cost and coverage of home health services. A physician must certify this type of service and a Medicare-certified home healthcare agency must coordinate the care.

Understanding home care and home health before you or your loved one needs these services is essential to creating a plan of care that brings comfort and safety to your life. At each step, Homeland is available to help answer your questions and discuss options to age in place.

“Decisions about home care and home health can be overwhelming,” Barbara says. “We are here to discuss options and provide information with compassion to help families make the choice that is right for them.”

End-of-Life and Planning Webinar

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Barb Goll, Community Education Liaison and Nutritionist

Barb Goll, Community Education Liaison and Nutritionist

Homeland Hospice and Rolling Green Cemetery have teamed up to present an important webinar:

End-of-Life and Pre-planning
Tuesday, January 26th, 11:30 am – 12:00 pm EST

Discussion will include vital information regarding end-life-care and advanced planning. Please join us and learn how to protect your loved ones from some of life’s most difficult decisions.

  • Receive helpful information in a no-contact setting
  • Learn how to prepare BEFORE a crisis occurs
  • Discover how to set up a plan using four simple steps
  • Receive a complimentary “My Reflections” workbook and personal pre-planning guide

Registration is required. Please call, text or email to sign-up! bgoll@homelandhospice.org or 717-829-5246.